Fresh Grief


As I hit the “milestone” of my husband and my wedding anniversary last week the waves of grief hit hard again. Sometimes it is hard to understand why you start grieving all over again. This would have been our 42nd anniversary. For those of you reading this that are grieving a loss of a loved one, whether the loss was from cancer such as my loss was,  from an accident as my young son’s was, or by natural causes of your aged parent, this new wave of grief and sorrow is to be expected. I have shed many tears the past two weeks.

The road we travel as we walk toward healing has many bends, twists, hills and slopes. Sometimes you will feel like you are all alone. You are not. There is one that stands with us always. Joshua 1:5 says, “There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life:” Only God can promise to stand with us all the days of our life. No matter how hard people may want to they can not promise this to us.  The verse in Joshua 1:5 goes on to say, “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

When you read my title “Sorrow to Victory” you may think that what you just read can possibly represent victory. Sometimes our victory seems to take a step backwards, however each time it does, we realize that the backwards step is still much farther down this road of  grief than we were a few months ago. The only way to keep ourselves on the victorious side is by allowing ourselves to grieve and cry when the sorrow washes over us, but yet to also make ourselves put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on. You will find that joy come s in the morning. (Psalm 30:5  “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. “) May God bless you in your journey towards victory.

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Facing your fear


I remember the day I received the telephone call that my husband had “something wrong with his blood”. The next call was from a hematologist who proceeded to tell me that my husband had to go to the emergency room immediately. She said, “Your husband’s hemoglobin is so low that he is at a risk for a heart attack.”  The fear that gripped my heart was like none I have ever felt before.  I called my pastor to tell him what was happening. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. I said, ” I am so afraid. I do not usually feel this way, but I am very afraid. ”

Later, while my husband was waiting for his transfusion, my pastor and his wife walked in. We visited for a while and the pastor prayed for us. He addressed my fear while talking to God. A calm came over me once again.

Most people who have received the news “you have cancer” or the news that your loved one may have cancer have experienced this same fear. I want to reassure you that you do not have to live with fear. The bible says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee….” (Isaiah 41:10) God is not a God of fear. You need to be honest with God and tell him you are afraid.  Ask God to give you His peace and He will. Each time your fear returns give it to God.  Remember that God is walking by your side if you are trusting in Him.