Luscious Sweet Strawberries


As my husband was becoming less able to do the things he loved to do, he planted some strawberries. He reaped a few that first summer that he planted them . The following summer he passed away. If there were any berries, I have no recollection of them. The berries were not cared for properly, but last summer I did find a few. Often since the start of this present summer I would think, I must weed those strawberries Phil planted. They are special to me and I want to keep them going. But I never got around to caring for them.

Last week my grandson came down to cut weeds in a patch of lawn that once was a small garden. I hurried and pulled the largest weeds so he could see where the strawberry plants had been, hoping to save some.  Imagine my surprise as I pulled out the weeds, some which were two feet high, to see large, plump berries! Mmm, are they sweet! Words can’t describe how I felt about finding those hidden strawberries.  It actually felt as if I had been given a gift from my husband. I must have picked a least a quart that day. I have had just a few to pick since then. When I saw that the entire area was full of large thick weeds, I had assumed that I had lost my chance of keeping those plants. How glad I am that I looked carefully before just cutting everything down.

How many times do people miss out on God’s salvation and His blessings because they aren’t willing to reach out and trust Him.  God’s word says, “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed be the man that trusteth. .” Psalm 119:103 goes on to say, “How sweet are thy words unto my taste! Yea,  sweeter than honey to my mouth.” Just as I had to reach out and partake of those strawberries to experience their sweetness, we also have to reach out and read God’s word and trust Him before we can experience the sweetness of Him and His promises.

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New hope


As spring approaches each year, it always makes me think of new life and hope. As a person works his way through grief, it sometimes feels likes they will never rise above it.

Much of God’s beautiful creation does not show its’  “face” until springtime arrives. As we experience a long, cold winter we see only barren ground and bare trees. Then one day we notice little buds on the trees and tiny shoots coming up towards the light.  The sun shines a little brighter and a little longer. Seeing new life bursting forth, we realize that they things in nature aren’t dead, and they’re not something to toss aside. Instead, they are displaying God’s perfect order of His creation. In the spring they come forth fresh and invigorated again. They have completed one of God’s intended cycles of life. All of these signs I see in spring renew my hope, and I know that I also can come forth with an invigorated spirit.

Another reminder of this hope that comes with springtime is the hope that Easter brings us. Our hope isn’t in whether the sun shines, or flowers bloom. Our hope is in the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is because of Him that we have hope. Because He was crucified on the cross for our sins and rose again the third day we can have hope! We know that He sits at the right hand of God the Father. We know that all of His promises will be fulfilled and are being fulfilled every day.  “Because He lives that I can face tomorrow!”

This will be my second spring without my beloved Phil. However, when I think of him, I not only have hope, but I have full assurance that he too lives. He lives in a place that is beyond our human words of description. He’s been rewarded fullness of all joy! How do I know that?

I know that because God promises that if we trust in Him, and believe that Jesus Christ was the son of God, if we believe that He truly did take our sins to the cross, and rose again the third day, we will live  eternally with Him. My husband did confess with His mouth that Christ is Lord and believed in Him.

I also know that not only does God love my husband, but he also loves me. God has a plan for me also. At this time of the year I am reminded that as long as I continue to love and follow my Savior and Lord, I can always rise above my loss. He promises in Isaiah 43:2 that He will never let the waters overtake you.  I can rise above my loss if I trust Him and allow Him to take my hand and lead me.

Not only does God have an intricate plan for the nature He created for us, but He also has a plan for each one of His children. When God fulfilled His plan for our loved ones and allowed them to go to His glorious home, He did not forget us. He has a plan for each one of us who remain. “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, and out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And He put a new song in my mouth…” Psalm 40: 1-3. I feel excitement with this new season coming upon us, and can rest in peace as I walk each day in His plan for me!

My prayer for each of you who are grieving is that you will be able to feel hope in the midst of your sorrow. God has not forgotten you.

For those of you who do not have Christ as your Savior, and therefore, can have no peace, my prayer is that you will look to the cross and receive Him this Easter season. It was during the Easter season many years ago that I received my faith. You can have the hope that only Christ can give.  I pray that you will seek Him now.

*Feel free to email me if I can be of help to you. Christ said, “Him that cometh unto me I will in no wise cast out.” John 6:37*

Celestial Shore


Think of stepping on shore and finding it Heaven!

Of taking hold of a hand and finding it God’s,Reminds us of heaven

Of breathing new air, and finding it celestial air,

Of feeling invigorated, and finding it immortality,

Of passing from storm and tempest to an unbroken calm,

Of waking up, and finding it Home!

Anonymous

The words above were sung at my son’s funeral. They were such a comfort to me. Just imagine it! You reach out to a hand and realize it is the Lord’s! You go from this life that is full of trouble to absolute continuous peace and calm. Home forever! I Peter 1:17 says that we are just traveling through this world. Our stay here in this world is temporary. We are just passing through while we await our turn to go to our real home, the celestial shore.  What comfort and joy this can give us! Our loved ones just travel on a little sooner than us. One day if we have Christ as our Lord and Savior we will travel on also and rejoin them. There will be no more separation, pain or sorrow. No loneliness.

My son’s death was sudden. One minute he was driving and the next he was breathing celestial air. One minute he was clutching the steering wheel, and in the next instant he was holding God’s hand. There is no way to describe  the joy he had to feel.

As my husband was dying, he opened his eyes three times to look up and over at someone waiting for him on “the other side.” Just a few minutes after he shut his eyes the last time, he was gone from his earthly body and opened them the final time to see the face  of  Jesus. He too, stepped onto the celestial shore, and I believe he was embraced by our son whom he missed so much.

As we await our reunion with our beloved husbands, it is a comfort to us if we picture them as they stepped on that heavenly shore. We can look with anticipation for our own  time of “passing from the storm and tempest to an unbroken calm.”  Until that time we need to continue to follow Jesus one step at a time.  He will lead us on the right pathway if we allow Him.  May God bless you.

Kathy

Quiet my heart Lord


10-31-1012  written during a battle…of sorrow…won with the Lord.

Oh my soul, why art thou dishearten within me?

Knowest thou not that God is with me? Do not look back! Keep your hands to the plow and your face forward! Or better yet, heavenward. How can one feel so calm in their spirit for days, even weeks, and then fall so far in the other direction? Why does my heart suddenly yearn for my loved one so very deeply tonight?

Why did my mind take me back to the days, weeks, just prior to my dearest husband’s death? Why did I need to remember the night I sat up on the couch and sobbed loudly, awakening him from deep sleep? Why must I remember that sweet man, rising from his couch to shuffle over to me try to comfort me? Or why must I remember the time I started quietly crying in the restaurant after his last treatment? I can hear him now responding to my apology, “It’s alright. I would be the same if I were you.”

Did I say all of the things I feel now would have been important to have said? But does it really matter? Why must I allow Satan to torment me? My soul, arise up and pick the torch back up. Continue to be a comforter, not one that needs comforted. Know that you have loved and been loved, and that is one of the greatest gifts here on earth. Know that you are surrounded by the extension of that love daily by his children and grandchildren. You have been left comfortable and well taken care of. You can look everywhere and see where your beloved’s  hand has been and where he left a reminder of himself. Faint not. Forge on ahead and continue to pave the path for others to walk on after you too are gone.

All the possessions left here will deteriorate unused. But the memories, the love, the example in dying, will be remembered in my heart and soul for as long as I am still here.

God, lift me up again, that I may hold my head high and forge forward again. Please give me wisdom in all areas of life. Keep my path straight. Thank you Lord, for giving me all your promises and for fulfilling them day by day.  Thank you for never failing me.  My soul is lighter once again, Lord.  I will praise your holy name forever.

Full circle


As I sit down to write this post, I am fully aware that I soon will have come “full circle” with my loss of my husband. By that I mean that on June 4th it will be one year since he passed away.  He passed away from this life into a wonderful, new eternal life. You may wonder how I can say that with such confidence. My confidence comes from my faith in the Word of God. In Romans 6:23 we are told that “…the wages 0f sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”  John3:16 says,”For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Phil did believe on Him and had accepted Him as his Savior. Because of this,  I know He is in Heaven with His Lord and Savior.

I feel a deep sadness when I think of my beloved husband. I miss him terribly. However, I do not grieve as one that has no hope. I do know that we will be reunited again someday. I know that he is in fullness of all joy and that I too will have that same joy one day.  I have slowly been walking down the pathway before me with all of its ups and downs, twists and turns.  I know that just as I healed from the grief of my son’s death I will also one day be healed from the grief of my husband’s death.

I would like to think that now since I will soon have experienced all of the “firsts” I will completely turn a corner in my grief and not have  sadness any more. However, I know that in reality there is no magical time when you suddenly are healed from your sorrow. God has held my by His right hand and will continue to do so. I can reassure you that as I look back at the past 12 months and compare them to how I feel now I can see that I have come a long way and that God has allowed me to do a lot of healing.

If you are suffering from the loss of a loved one be assured that it will not always hurt so badly. If you do not have an anchor in Jesus Christ to hold on to I can explain to you how you can have it. May God bless you in your journey.

How do we move on with our lives?


As spring approaches, I have mixed feelings. The new

season means another chapter of my life has closed

without my beloved being in it, and a new one is starting

without him. That does make me sad. However, on the

other end of my thinking, spring always reminds me of

new life. The daffodils are blooming, the  grass is

turning green and there are buds on the trees.

I saw a butterfly today and three robins. That butterfly

had to go through a transformation to become as beautiful

as it is. My husband has also gone through a transformation.

He left his old “cocoon” behind and he is now transformed

into a new, flawless body. He too has “sprung” forth.

Like the lifeless plants and trees will soon show new beautiful

life, if I could see Phil, he too would show new vibrant life.

Our loved ones that have known Christ, are now more

more alive than ever before. I hope as you watch our

earth  start to show forth its beauty once again, you will

allow it to fill you renewed hope and joy that your loved one

is also enjoying his new surroundings and life. “In thy

presence is fullness of  joy ..” Psalm 16:11 Let’s start spring

rejoicing in this truth!

Poem “OUR BOY” – One Year Later


I am reposting this blog this week in honor of the one year anniversary of the home-going of  sweet Jeremiah Ulmer. I have watched his family sorrow, yet not without hope.  I have grieved in my own heart with them as well.  We continue to remember him daily. February 6th will represent the completion of a year of “first’s”. It is not, however, the end of grieving. Grieving does not come with an expiration date. Everyone’s grief is different. Still,  I know from the loss of my own dear son that their grief will continue to lessen over each new year. As each wave tosses them out into the sea of grief, each wave will also bring them back closer to the lighthouse on  shore.  As I have watched them travel this first part of their journey, I have seen the entire family keep their eyes heaven-ward and lean on their Savior.   This week is bringing to close one year of  indescribable joy and peace for Jeremiah as well as one year of learning to cling to God for His healing and peace for his family. May God bless them as they they start another year in their journey with their Lord.

“OUR BOY”

by Charlotte Ulmer Minium on Friday, March 2, 2012 at 2:44pm ·

Our Boy”

by Stephanie R. Ulmer

I heard your prayer from up above,

For another boy to hold and love,

And so I fashioned one with grace,

A beautiful boy with a handsome face,

I gave him twinkling eyes of blue,

His baby skin was soft and new,

He had ten fingers and ten little toes,

Big chubby cheeks and a cute little nose,

A hearty laugh, an adorable grin,

He was as sweet as a boy could have been,

And so I was finished, my planning was done,

I sent him to earth, I gave you your son.

Take heed though, I whispered, his time won’t be long,

Make each moment count, for soon he’ll be gone,

And so I watched ‘or him from heaven above,

Our boy was growing, he was showered with love,

He teased his sisters and played with his brother,

He respected his father and was sweet to his mother,

He liked hunting and fishing whenever he could,

He picked on his siblings like little boys should,

He loved knives and guns and trucks that were loud,

He was boy to the core and he made us all proud,

But just like I told you it didn’t take long,

Our boy grew up. He was tall, he was strong,

No longer a child, He was more like a man,

You had hopes for his future, but that wasn’t My plan.

I missed the boy, he was Mine from the start,

I knew all his thoughts, I knew him by heart,

And so when his time on earth was all passed,

I called My boy home, back to heaven at last!

He came in an instant, My bright happy child,

And when he caught sight of the angels, he smiled.

He’s up here in heaven, he’s sheltered from harm,

He’s safer than ever he was on your farm,

His eyes are still sparkling a beautiful blue,

His skin is remade, its again fresh and new,

The memories he left are all yours to share,

They’re sweet and they’re precious, so handle with care,

And so when your feeling discouraged or blue,

Remember he’s Mine, but I shared him with you.

In Loving Memory

Of

Jeremiah Justin Ulmer

5/27/93 – 2/6/12

Jeremiah with his big 7 pt. buck. He shot him from 750 yards away straight through the eye. He couldn’t have been more proud.