The Meeting


I have been following a blog of which the author calls herself  “God’s Sparrow.”  The title of her blog is Sparrow’s Scrolls. Today with her permission I am sharing with one of my favorite  writings of hers.  Her blog has blessed me greatly and I am sure it will you also.

As I read “The Meeting,”  it helped me to be aware once again that when we lose a loved one, God does not forget to include us in His plan as well. He lovingly lays a pathway before us and guides us along that pathway.

The Meeting

Date: October 18, 2010

Time: 4:30 am

Where: Heaven

Present: God

Angels

Good Morning. I have called you all together at this early hour to tell you that my Sparrow’s beloved has just suffered a stroke.  This has come as no surprise to me. It has, however, shaken her immensely.  It is not in My plan to heal him, for his time to come home to me is drawing near.

The upcoming months will be most difficult for her and she will find her faith tested almost beyond measure. I, however, know she will remain faithful throughout the days ahead.

I set a plan in place several months ago to have her assigned to a position in the school directly across the street from the hospital. She will find herself working for a group of teachers who will be incredibly supportive, tolerating her ringing cell phone, last minute absences and her sometimes “foggy” days.

And, when it is time for him to leave the hospital after six weeks, I have arranged for there to be a room available at the best care center in the area. There, too, she will find a supportive and caring staff.

Although she will be greatly upset that he will need to be in a care center, it is My plan for him. There are many who will benefit from his presence there and his strong faith in Me. He will tell many about Me. In addition, I wish to have this time apart with him in order to prepare him to come home to Me.

Now for your assignments: Her safety while in her vehicle is crucial. There will be many late night and early morning trips. She will also be driving while in tears and in harsh winter weather to visit him each day. Her health is also very important. Stress will be her greatest enemy during this time.

Help will be needed to navigate through the mounds of government and insurance paperwork. Make the way easy for her when she shops for special clothing and shoes for him. I don’t want her going endlessly from store to store. Protect her house from winter’s storms and keep everything in proper working order. When a repair is necessary get it done quickly at minimal expense. There is a younger couple I have positioned in the house up the street who will be a great support to her, Keep an eye on them as well and let them know when it is time to check on her.  As the months go on and she is becoming increasingly weary I will lead her to online friends. At various times these friends will need a “nudge” to send her a message with a butterfly. These beautiful creatures of Mine have always been her favorite and I want her to receive many of them. I will also arrange for the butterflies to appear in her life in many different forms – on shirts of strangers and flying across the hood of her car one particularly hard day.

Shortly after the second anniversary of her beloved’s passing she will hit a very low point. She will find herself in a very dark place not understanding how she got there or why, This too is in My plan.  At the urging of her physician and with My permission she will start medication to alleviate this darkness. In time she will come to see the light again and I will return her “words” to her.

That day will be October 18, 2013. On that day, three years into the future, she will sit at her keyboard and once again feel the joy and honor of sharing My words.

She will still not know what her future holds. But I know – and it is only good, as I have promised. For, as she relays how I have worked in her past, she will be reassured of how I will work in her future.

Ok, meeting dismissed. Now you know your assignments – get to work My angel armies!

And this, my friends is what this verse means to me now: Psalm 91:11 For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways.

Quiet my heart Lord


10-31-1012  written during a battle…of sorrow…won with the Lord.

Oh my soul, why art thou dishearten within me?

Knowest thou not that God is with me? Do not look back! Keep your hands to the plow and your face forward! Or better yet, heavenward. How can one feel so calm in their spirit for days, even weeks, and then fall so far in the other direction? Why does my heart suddenly yearn for my loved one so very deeply tonight?

Why did my mind take me back to the days, weeks, just prior to my dearest husband’s death? Why did I need to remember the night I sat up on the couch and sobbed loudly, awakening him from deep sleep? Why must I remember that sweet man, rising from his couch to shuffle over to me try to comfort me? Or why must I remember the time I started quietly crying in the restaurant after his last treatment? I can hear him now responding to my apology, “It’s alright. I would be the same if I were you.”

Did I say all of the things I feel now would have been important to have said? But does it really matter? Why must I allow Satan to torment me? My soul, arise up and pick the torch back up. Continue to be a comforter, not one that needs comforted. Know that you have loved and been loved, and that is one of the greatest gifts here on earth. Know that you are surrounded by the extension of that love daily by his children and grandchildren. You have been left comfortable and well taken care of. You can look everywhere and see where your beloved’s  hand has been and where he left a reminder of himself. Faint not. Forge on ahead and continue to pave the path for others to walk on after you too are gone.

All the possessions left here will deteriorate unused. But the memories, the love, the example in dying, will be remembered in my heart and soul for as long as I am still here.

God, lift me up again, that I may hold my head high and forge forward again. Please give me wisdom in all areas of life. Keep my path straight. Thank you Lord, for giving me all your promises and for fulfilling them day by day.  Thank you for never failing me.  My soul is lighter once again, Lord.  I will praise your holy name forever.

“Buck up!” “It is time to get over it.”


I flinched when someone told me that her recently widowed aunt is being told to”buck up and get over it!”  Unfortunately, I  have learned that there are many people that think that way about those of us who are grieving. Most of those who are thinking this way just do not verbalize those feelings. I did not realize this until I was visiting some friends that are very dear to me. “I just didn’t know, I just didn’t know!”, one of them said before breaking down into tears.  I questioned what it was he did not know. His reply was, “I did not know how bad it hurts. I used to think  just get over it.”  His statement really shocked me. This family is a  very loving, caring family. He would be the last one that I would ever think would have had those thoughts. Their young son recently went to Heaven and now they know from experience how much it hurts and how long it takes to heal.

I once read that for those of us who have gone through the valley of grieving and are farther up the mountain it leads to have a responsibility to “call back to the others  that are just starting to climb it.”  We need to reach down and lend a hand to help them up and also call back words of encouragement. I now feel that it is also our responsibility to teach others that are NOT grieving more about the process so they can understand and hopefully prevent such statements as “Buck up!”

Christian counselors and authors that have observed those that grieve and found that it generally takes 2-2 1/2 years to be fully adjusted to a close loved one’s death. It also varies from person to person even within the same household. There are also many different circumstances that come in to play.

By the way, one does not “get over it“. However they do get used to the fact that the loved one is no longer living with them and that life will never be the same. One day they realize that they have settled into a new way of life without him or her.

Psalm 147:3 says “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. ” We can all trust God that He will indeed heal our hearts and make us whole again.

I would appreciate any comments  you who are reading this have concerning this topic. Have a good day “in the Lord”.

Fresh Grief


As I hit the “milestone” of my husband and my wedding anniversary last week the waves of grief hit hard again. Sometimes it is hard to understand why you start grieving all over again. This would have been our 42nd anniversary. For those of you reading this that are grieving a loss of a loved one, whether the loss was from cancer such as my loss was,  from an accident as my young son’s was, or by natural causes of your aged parent, this new wave of grief and sorrow is to be expected. I have shed many tears the past two weeks.

The road we travel as we walk toward healing has many bends, twists, hills and slopes. Sometimes you will feel like you are all alone. You are not. There is one that stands with us always. Joshua 1:5 says, “There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life:” Only God can promise to stand with us all the days of our life. No matter how hard people may want to they can not promise this to us.  The verse in Joshua 1:5 goes on to say, “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.”

When you read my title “Sorrow to Victory” you may think that what you just read can possibly represent victory. Sometimes our victory seems to take a step backwards, however each time it does, we realize that the backwards step is still much farther down this road of  grief than we were a few months ago. The only way to keep ourselves on the victorious side is by allowing ourselves to grieve and cry when the sorrow washes over us, but yet to also make ourselves put one foot in front of the other and keep on keeping on. You will find that joy come s in the morning. (Psalm 30:5  “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. “) May God bless you in your journey towards victory.